Teaching

This picture was drawn by a kindergarten student. It really puts the world in perspective through a child's eyes.

School Answering Machine

(This is hilarious, no wonder some people were offended!)
This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (California) Staff
voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine.

This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students
and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and
missing homework.
The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their
children's failing grades changed to passing grades even though those children
were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough
school work to pass their classes.

This is the actual answering machine message for the school:
Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your
school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please
listen to all your options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2
To complain about what we do - Press 3
To swear at staff members - Press 4
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in
your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
To request another teacher for the third time this year- Press 8
To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
To complain about school lunches - Press 0
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be
accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and
that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang
up and have a nice day!"

> >If you can read this thank a teacher!

> >If you are reading it in English thank a veteran!

Memo from Human Resources

Thank God I don't work in an office.


Swearing At Work Policy

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the campus have been using foul language during the
course of normal conversation with their co-workers. As a result of
complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended,
this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however,
realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express
your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list
of 18 New and Innovative phrases have been provided so that proper
exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.


1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting b__ch.

3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh__ing me!

6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f____ing problem.

8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the f___ing h _ll didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the f___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr_ck.


Thank You,
Human Resources